Benchmark #1

Something unbelievable happened to me today. I'll begin with some background information. I bought a scale at the beginning of January and signed up for an aerobic fitness class. I was determined to become healthier. You see, at the beginning of this year, I realized that I had gained 25 pounds from the time I graduated high school in 2009 (putting me at 155 pounds). It's funny because I was always self conscious, even in high school when my weight was not as saddening as it was at the beginning on January.

In fact, I have been self conscious since long before high school. I weighed 130 pounds in high school, which isn't overweight for my height, but I felt very aware of my extra 10 pounds whenever I sported my one piece swimsuit next to my skinny, bikini wearing best friends. I never resented them for how beautiful they seemed to me, but, over time, I increasingly lost confidence in my physical appearance. In fact, by the time I turned eight years old, I had long decided that I would be "the smart one" among my group of friends, and I have worked hard to keep that as my stereotype. For years, I pretended that fashion and make up didn't interest me, because, as the smart one, I had better things to worry about.

(That's me in the front: the smart 12 year old with the great personality)
(Me in the middle: the one with glasses and braces between the two models)

At the age of 20, weighing 155 pounds scared me. In the words of a poet, I felt that my mirrors ought to have wept from shame and shock (Pablo Neruda, Walking Around). I always pretended I didn't care about being a little overweight, but it was impossible trying to ignore this simple fact when comparing me to the other beautiful women I grew up with, especially considering my heritage. I was born in Brazil, you know, the country that exports plastic surgery and super models more than any other country in the world? Being a Brazilian in America created even more pressure for me, especially when people would tell me that I didn't look Brazilian (they didn't have to mention my weight for me to know exactly what they meant).

My weight has fluctuated throughout my life... You see, I played a lot of sports and had a very flattering boyfriend by the time I hit my late teen years, which definitely increased my self esteem. I wanted to look beautiful, and so I did. But the pressures of college, broken hearts, jobs, religious responsibilities, and marriage got the best of me, and now I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life...

So, I took an inventory of my health, and realized that I was going down a dangerous path of unthoughtful meals and inactivity. I found a work out buddy, several in fact, began planning meals, and began working out for at least an hour for six days a week. And so, here today, I am happy to announce I have crossed my first milestone. At 147 pounds, I was shocked to discover that I had lost eight pounds! This is by no means the end of my journey, but I feel amazing...and so here's an ode to the weight I've lost, and the simple joys of a healthy life that lie before me.