Even though I hadn't been expecting to hear back from Teach For America (TFA), I learned late last Wednesday that I had been admitted into the 2013 TFA Corps teaching English in the secondary level in the Boston area...which was oh-so-exciting, but particularly daunting at the same time.
At the time I received my offer, I had been working at the Boston Architectural College's (BAC) Admissions/Professional & Continuing Education departments for about a month. I was finally getting into the groove of my job role as an administrative assistant, and kicking some serious butt. I had begun to fall in love with my work area, my chance to dress up on a daily basis, my daily commute in and out of Boston, my two monitors, my hour-long lunch breaks, my BAC email address, my work environment, my long hours, and my coworkers (who are all just stellar, by the way- I have never worked in a more relaxed, yet proactive environment). At this point last Wednesday, I was seriously considering making my temporary employment at the BAC permanent because I could not imagine working in a cooler environment.
Sure, I will admit that I wasn't thrilled about being an assistant to begin with, and I honestly often feel overqualified for my position, but I was interacting with strangers and students all the time and I was given a TON of freedom with the projects that I would be working on and how I wanted to execute them. The independence of this job was so gratifying. I had a full time job for the first time in my life and I loved every minute of it.
So...as devoted to the goal of becoming a teacher that I felt, it fell to the back of my mind, which was now occupied with learning and embracing the whole new culture of my new office environment.
Then about a week ago, I learned about Prospect Fellow, a program that at my high school that reminded me of TFA- except instead of teaching right away, those admitted into the program (PHA alumni, ideally) would begin as teaching assistants in the classroom. This idea began to bring me back to my overall goal of becoming a teacher. I loved the idea of teaching at my old high school so much that I began thinking about setting aside TFA altogether in order to have a shot at teaching at the school that paved the way for my passion for educational equality. On the other hand, I felt my hands were tied as the compensation for a teacher's assistant at PHA would be about half of my salary with either TFA or the BAC, if admitted. But I still considered it, after all, I really really loved PHA, and I felt so connected still to the memories of the person I had been while there, in spite of having gone to college so far away, and in such a different environment. I began to research the possibility, but again, it fell to the back of my mind each morning when I arrived to work.
And so, I was shocked, ecstatic, and entirely overwhelmed when I received my acceptance offer from TFA. Imagine my joy when I realized I had not only been admitted, but that I would be teaching English (it was either that or History for me), at the secondary level (because I never really even considered teaching elementary school), and in Boston (where Chris and I just moved our lives to a few months before).
So now...I am at a crossroads. My idea plan would be to teach either English or History at PHA...haha, it's probably not fair but I want to have my cake and eat it too...what on earth else would I do with cake right? It seemed like such a long shot, but I feel that the chips are falling into place...I received my offer from TFA, and PHA has a substitute position open for the rest of the year for a History teacher, who was promoted to director of the Fellows program just a few days ago. AND, I just found out yesterday that one of my good friend's little sister is in that class, and that the students are going to take part in choosing their sub.
Hmm....
Coincidence? I don't think so.
But can I teach History to 9th and 10th graders? In fact, can I even really teach- in general?! Sure I've had several teaching experiences- like teaching English in India and Guatemala, or teaching Gospel Doctrine in Church on Sunday afternoons during my college years...but it's different. At least it feels different? Whenever I think about becoming a certified teacher in a real classroom, everything just seems to fit. Whenever I imagine my future career, I see myself in the front of a classroom challenging students and opening their minds to possibilities they might have not yet considered.
But I'm scared. I remember being 14. I remember how I rotten I was to my substitute teachers. Would I be able to tear down the walls students build between themselves and substitutes, or would I fail to acquire their trust and respect as miserably as some of my past substitutes failed, proving the students rights that substitutes just don't have what it takes? Would I then be destined to forgo my aspirations of becoming a teacher? Would it ruin me?
I don't know.
I am so good at my job now. I go beyond expectations. I am independently proactive and creative. I fear that it would be a mistake to give it up- what I already know I am good at.
Or would it be a mistake to never try at the risk of failing miserably?
At the time I received my offer, I had been working at the Boston Architectural College's (BAC) Admissions/Professional & Continuing Education departments for about a month. I was finally getting into the groove of my job role as an administrative assistant, and kicking some serious butt. I had begun to fall in love with my work area, my chance to dress up on a daily basis, my daily commute in and out of Boston, my two monitors, my hour-long lunch breaks, my BAC email address, my work environment, my long hours, and my coworkers (who are all just stellar, by the way- I have never worked in a more relaxed, yet proactive environment). At this point last Wednesday, I was seriously considering making my temporary employment at the BAC permanent because I could not imagine working in a cooler environment.
So...as devoted to the goal of becoming a teacher that I felt, it fell to the back of my mind, which was now occupied with learning and embracing the whole new culture of my new office environment.
Then about a week ago, I learned about Prospect Fellow, a program that at my high school that reminded me of TFA- except instead of teaching right away, those admitted into the program (PHA alumni, ideally) would begin as teaching assistants in the classroom. This idea began to bring me back to my overall goal of becoming a teacher. I loved the idea of teaching at my old high school so much that I began thinking about setting aside TFA altogether in order to have a shot at teaching at the school that paved the way for my passion for educational equality. On the other hand, I felt my hands were tied as the compensation for a teacher's assistant at PHA would be about half of my salary with either TFA or the BAC, if admitted. But I still considered it, after all, I really really loved PHA, and I felt so connected still to the memories of the person I had been while there, in spite of having gone to college so far away, and in such a different environment. I began to research the possibility, but again, it fell to the back of my mind each morning when I arrived to work.
And so, I was shocked, ecstatic, and entirely overwhelmed when I received my acceptance offer from TFA. Imagine my joy when I realized I had not only been admitted, but that I would be teaching English (it was either that or History for me), at the secondary level (because I never really even considered teaching elementary school), and in Boston (where Chris and I just moved our lives to a few months before).
Hmm....
Coincidence? I don't think so.
But can I teach History to 9th and 10th graders? In fact, can I even really teach- in general?! Sure I've had several teaching experiences- like teaching English in India and Guatemala, or teaching Gospel Doctrine in Church on Sunday afternoons during my college years...but it's different. At least it feels different? Whenever I think about becoming a certified teacher in a real classroom, everything just seems to fit. Whenever I imagine my future career, I see myself in the front of a classroom challenging students and opening their minds to possibilities they might have not yet considered.
But I'm scared. I remember being 14. I remember how I rotten I was to my substitute teachers. Would I be able to tear down the walls students build between themselves and substitutes, or would I fail to acquire their trust and respect as miserably as some of my past substitutes failed, proving the students rights that substitutes just don't have what it takes? Would I then be destined to forgo my aspirations of becoming a teacher? Would it ruin me?
I don't know.
I am so good at my job now. I go beyond expectations. I am independently proactive and creative. I fear that it would be a mistake to give it up- what I already know I am good at.
Or would it be a mistake to never try at the risk of failing miserably?
