After spending a long weekend away in the foreign lands of Utah, I returned to school today to the relieved and joyous praises of "HOORAY! Ms. Sevy is back!" I was honestly a little taken aback. I had not expected the swarm of hugs I received as I walked into the door (admittedly a little late).
"Phew! Those 6th grade substitute teachers were really starting to get to us!" A couple of my kids sighed in relief. Uh-oh, I thought. That must mean that the kids gave the substitutes hell, and they probably had some consequences as a result of it... I started silently freaking out and making a list of apologies I should write to all the teachers who bravely stepped up to help run my classes in my absence. Oy, I need to make sure my kids are in shape for 6th grade. Maybe I'm too nice? What if they aren't prepared because of me? But before I let another torturous thought enter my mind, I embraced the kids from the other class I teach in a tight hug, who had snuck into my class to say hello. Gosh, I missed these kids.
I had a fabulous day, and so I decided to write about it...I haven't written publicly in a long time, and I think I'm due for a few more posts. So much has happened since my last melancholy post. More successes. Failures. Hopes. Faith.
So much has changed within me in such a short amount of time.
And I'm a huge believer that a large part of that change has come as the direct result of being a first year teach to my students. This experience has changed me so much already, and though I know I still have a long way to go before I become the kind of teacher I want to be someday, I feel that this journey has already polished over and smoothed so many of my rough edges.
In spite of the personal challenges that come along with being a young, inexperienced first year teacher, I sincerely believe that these challenges have worked to make me a much more beautiful human being than I could have ever imagined possible.
There's something about hitting rock-bottom that changes you, and I mean that in as little of a depressive way as possible. I have never been so bad at something I'm trying so hard to be good at...that's how I feel every day.
And yet...I have never received as much grace and kindness from so many unexpected places. Co-workers, mentors, family, friends, sometimes ever complete strangers have come to my rescue more than once. And I have learned so much as a result of it--about the overall goodness of people.
And that gives me hope. No matter what. No matter how messed up something in our lives may seem...Or how close we are to falling over the edge into the abyss of giving up and relentless despair--people are good. They are full of love, and they are eager to give of themselves for the improvement of humanity - in however small a way it may seem.
And that gives me hope for the future -- as a teacher, as a friend, as a wife. It give me hope for the future. It fills my heart with love, and peace.
And that's enough to keep me going on.
For now, that's faith.
"Phew! Those 6th grade substitute teachers were really starting to get to us!" A couple of my kids sighed in relief. Uh-oh, I thought. That must mean that the kids gave the substitutes hell, and they probably had some consequences as a result of it... I started silently freaking out and making a list of apologies I should write to all the teachers who bravely stepped up to help run my classes in my absence. Oy, I need to make sure my kids are in shape for 6th grade. Maybe I'm too nice? What if they aren't prepared because of me? But before I let another torturous thought enter my mind, I embraced the kids from the other class I teach in a tight hug, who had snuck into my class to say hello. Gosh, I missed these kids.
I had a fabulous day, and so I decided to write about it...I haven't written publicly in a long time, and I think I'm due for a few more posts. So much has happened since my last melancholy post. More successes. Failures. Hopes. Faith.
So much has changed within me in such a short amount of time.
And I'm a huge believer that a large part of that change has come as the direct result of being a first year teach to my students. This experience has changed me so much already, and though I know I still have a long way to go before I become the kind of teacher I want to be someday, I feel that this journey has already polished over and smoothed so many of my rough edges.
In spite of the personal challenges that come along with being a young, inexperienced first year teacher, I sincerely believe that these challenges have worked to make me a much more beautiful human being than I could have ever imagined possible.
There's something about hitting rock-bottom that changes you, and I mean that in as little of a depressive way as possible. I have never been so bad at something I'm trying so hard to be good at...that's how I feel every day.
And yet...I have never received as much grace and kindness from so many unexpected places. Co-workers, mentors, family, friends, sometimes ever complete strangers have come to my rescue more than once. And I have learned so much as a result of it--about the overall goodness of people.
And that gives me hope. No matter what. No matter how messed up something in our lives may seem...Or how close we are to falling over the edge into the abyss of giving up and relentless despair--people are good. They are full of love, and they are eager to give of themselves for the improvement of humanity - in however small a way it may seem.
And that gives me hope for the future -- as a teacher, as a friend, as a wife. It give me hope for the future. It fills my heart with love, and peace.
And that's enough to keep me going on.
For now, that's faith.
"And so, rock bottom became a solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life" (J.K. Rowling).
