He allows a slot of about five minutes at the beginning of every class for students to meditate. He even uses a meditation bell to signal the beginning of our meditation. We've done this all semester, and it's been a very enlightening process, but today's class was especially interesting. You see, today, he encouraged us to meditate specifically about people who have made a difference. His wording, however, made me feel that he meant the people who have come into your life for stages, or even just moments, and have left a lifelong impression. The people that instantly came to my mind sparked an epiphany.
Of course, my mind quickly flashed through images of my friends and family, but as my purpose was to recognize the people who were in so many ways a brief, but lasting, part of my memories, my thoughts quickly brought me to an unexpected, but obvious figure: Ms. Douglas, my Spanish teacher and Assistant Principle at my high school. She is the most accepting person I know. In spite of our mistakes, petty drama, and bad attitudes, she always cared. She helped me to see the values within myself...which was so significant for a 17 year old girl who was so unsure of her future. Even more so, she reminded me of who I was, and who I wanted to be, even when I forgot. Forgive me the cliches, but it's true. After I got married, I was terrified of the reactions I would get from my high school friends. Getting married at 20 was not anything anyone imagined for me, not even me...and I purposely avoided conversations with my high school classmates and teachers because I was afraid...afraid to recognize that things would never be the same and afraid to let go of the past. She met me one afternoon at Starbucks so that she could meet my husband, and while he left to buy us a smoothie, she scolded me for being afraid to tell her, for acting ashamed of something I didn't need to be ashamed of. She reminded me that the people who love you will always love you, no matter what.
The next people who found their way into my meditation were similar individuals who left very unique traces behind. I thought of my third grade teacher, Ms. Romney, that helped me to believe that I could learn English, no matter how difficult the task seemed. I thought of my 10th grade history and homeroom teacher, Mr. Vogel, who always made me feel like my opinions mattered, even though I was just a kid, and adults often overlook teenager's opinions. We regularly chatted about religion and politics during our check ins. He also taught me the true meaning of forgiveness and the value of integrity. I thought of my fourth grade music teacher, Mrs. Q, who noticed my singing potential and made sure that I became a part of choir, even though I was too shy to sing in front of anyone. Or Sister Arnell, who ruthlessly tore my work apart until I polished it up so much I almost didn't believe I was capable of writing so professionally. I also thought of my junior year English professor and soccer coach, Mr. Spencer, who saw leadership potential in me and taught me that sometimes its better to be a leader than to be the star. I thought of my favorite college professor, Brother Peck, who helped me to discover my passion for the Middle East and who allowed me to regularly meet him in his office just for a chat or debate, and who always ended each visit with "Thanks for giving me the chance to get to know you a little better." I noticed a patterned. It continued...Ms. Dunn's passion for literature. Brother Sturm's warm wisdom. Ms. Bowman's fun and enduring willingness to look after the students left behind. Ms. Scalia's attitude. Ms. Ensina's love and dedication, and so many others whose names I might have spaced, but who still have a special place in my heart.
And then, something hit me.... the people that have come and gone into my life and left powerful impressions were all teachers. And I realized, as I prepare to graduate in July, there's a lot of possibilities ahead of me, but I think being a teacher would be the most satisfying career path for someone like me. I used to think that in order to be successful and accomplished, I had to prove something to the world. I felt like I had to become a doctor, lawyer, CEO, diplomat, or psychologist to prove that my parent's move to the U.S. from Brazil wasn't in vain. All my life, I had been "the smart one," or as my father often called me, his little "retirement plan." So many people in my life have told me that I would excel at those professions, but the truth is that I've always been afraid, none of those ever felt quite right....
So, no, I'm still not exactly sure where my life is taking me, but I can't think of any profession that leaves as much of an impression in the life of a child or teenager then someone who dedicated their lives to teaching them about life... In today's society, teachers are probably seeing students more than parents do... and while no one should ever take the place of a parent in a person's life, I know that my teachers helped me more than I can ever explain... And if I can do what they've done for me for just one kid, I'm sure that's the greatest success anyone can ever have.
So there, meditation... who knew?
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