The role of fear in travel

I'm back in India! Visiting Pune for the first time after first stepping foot in Delhi in 2012. (You can read more about that visit here). Honestly, I am thrilled and rattled. Having divorced, drifted from Mormonism, and come out of the proverbial "closet" since 2012, the circumstances of the two trips have proved dramatically different.

I admit, I feel less confident than expected.

Personal ads in the Pune Times

Instead, I find myself more cautious and aware of what can go wrong. In that way, I'm reminded of Cheryl Stayed in Wild: balking at a second encounter with snow along the Pacific Crest Trail; painstakingly aware of how one miscalculation could send me off the side of the mountain.

Occupying space in India as a queer womyn of color similarly carries unique challenges pertaining to survival. In Boston, I learned to challenge the legitimacy of my fears: accepting them as the result of internal barriers. Mere products of my failure to thoroughly "decolonize."

Yet, in India, the fear is primal. Not only that, but it is upheld by legislature and cultural norms.

You may recall, for instance, the 23 year old student raped and killed in Munirka in 2012 (in spite of her male companion - reminding us all that is it absolute rubbish to teach womyn not to be raped). To those new to the blog, Munirka is the neighborhood where I taught an English language class to a local women's group in 2012.

Wall Art at Mineority Cafe and Restaurant

You may similarly be aware that gay activity in India was decriminalized in 2009 by the Delhi High Court (YAY!) and then almost immediately re-criminalized in 2013 by the Supreme Court (BOO!)

To be clear, womyn and queers are not physically safe in America either. The mass shooting of Latinx bodies at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando last year reminded us of this, and Americans should similarly expect backward movement from a Trump presidency (our one and only Assaulter-in-Chief - term coined by @heavenrants).

Having said that, it's important to note the history of violence toward womyn and queers in India. I don't say this to sensationalize, as is often done with the pain of marginalized communities, but with hope that shedding light on these experiences will spark the dialogue from which we are currently starved.

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Okay, y'all. That's it for my first post back after the hiatus. Do let me know your thoughts in the comment section below or write me directly. Thank you!